About Me

I am an errant Network technician with a penchant for writing, photography, and technology. While I experience more of them all, I'll share what may be of benefit to you.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Getting Along with a Newborn

Just dropped a bunch of knowledge on a family member of a family member of a family member that I loaned some baby goods to when I found out she was in need. Thought I should share the same information here so others would have an opportunity to see if it applies to you as well.

push through and remember that baby comes first in all things. 
never take what each of you say to each other in moments of irritation/anger/exhaustion as true. the first 7 months are the most trying because you both have to adjust to having less sl
eep, and less time with friends and family. 
Advice: remember that each of you need to try and spend at least 15 minutes a day just being together. Just turn some music on and sit with each other. Talk about the past, talk about the future and things you want to do with baby girl. Or don't talk. Just sit and look at each other and smile. and laugh.  Laughter is what keeps people healthy and happy.


HER: I try but he just thinks im weird and doesn't understand.

Does he have a role model that could help him understand? Match him up with a person who will explain things to him so he can understand the importance of how his actions affecting your relationship will be a part of how your daughter interprets relationships to be. That's why baby has to come first. The blunt response is, does he want his little baby girl to grow up looking for a guy that treats her wrong because she thinks that is the norm?

Know what? I have no idea what situation you're in. I have no idea how he's acting towards you and baby girl. I have no idea what you're requesting he does. So it's not fair to make recommendations that make him look like a bad guy. So here's some neutral advice.

Think about what would make you happy. Then, think about what makes him happy. Then, think about whether there is something both of you can do, to make each other happy. Then, think about whether this would enable baby girl to be happy. If so, do it. 
Ask him about having a calm discussion without feelings where you both express your personal needs, and allow each other to finish. There should be no anger or resentment from anything said. After you have discussed it calmly, you can both discuss how to go about making each other happy. Both of you will have sacrifices to make, but because you love each other, and your daughter, both of you should be willing to make them. 
THERE, neutral advice that works for any mature couple that wishes to have a strong and healthy relationship.

Ah, knowledge. That's what we're all here for right?

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