Getting Along with a Newborn

Just dropped a bunch of knowledge on a family member of a family member of a family member that I loaned some baby goods to when I found out she was in need. Thought I should share the same information here so others would have an opportunity to see if it applies to you as well.

push through and remember that baby comes first in all things. 
never take what each of you say to each other in moments of irritation/anger/exhaustion as true. the first 7 months are the most trying because you both have to adjust to having less sleep, and less time with friends and family. 
Advice: remember that each of you need to try and spend at least 15 minutes a day just being together. Just turn some music on and sit with each other. Talk about the past, talk about the future and things you want to do with baby girl. Or don't talk. Just sit and look at each other and smile. and laugh.  Laughter is what keeps people healthy and happy.

HER: I try but he just thinks im weird and doesn't understand.

Does he have a role model that could help him understand? Match him up with a person who will explain things to him so he can understand the importance of how his actions affecting your relationship will be a part of how your daughter interprets relationships to be. That's why baby has to come first. The blunt response is, does he want his little baby girl to grow up looking for a guy that treats her wrong because she thinks that is the norm?

Know what? I have no idea what situation you're in. I have no idea how he's acting towards you and baby girl. I have no idea what you're requesting he does. So it's not fair to make recommendations that make him look like a bad guy. So here's some neutral advice.

Think about what would make you happy. Then, think about what makes him happy. Then, think about whether there is something both of you can do, to make each other happy. Then, think about whether this would enable baby girl to be happy. If so, do it. 
Ask him about having a calm discussion without feelings where you both express your personal needs, and allow each other to finish. There should be no anger or resentment from anything said. After you have discussed it calmly, you can both discuss how to go about making each other happy. Both of you will have sacrifices to make, but because you love each other, and your daughter, both of you should be willing to make them. 
THERE, neutral advice that works for any mature couple that wishes to have a strong and healthy relationship.

Ah, knowledge. That's what we're all here for right?

Keeping her happy with the move

There is something so painful about the process of choosing where you're going to move. I find it to be very similar to when you're looking to buy a car. There's the car you know you can afford, the one you may have to work some extra hours each week to afford, and then there's the car that requires the latter plus you need to take a bus to work. I find myself in a similar situation.

When you have the belief that your company will be moving you to a new department with a pay increase you start seeing those other locations that are slightly outside your price range and think,

"Well, by the time I have to pay a full month of rent, I'll be making enough money to afford it."

There are so many amenities and great offerings at the "budget-limit" location that it is sorely tempting to move there. However, one of the most important things to me right now is shortening the commute so there's more time to spend with my daughter after work. I don't see it as being much of a family when you only see each other an hour or two each day.

That, is why I have to do the right thing and choose the location that saves us more money, and means neither of us has to commute. At least not a real commute considering I would only have to ride my bike 8.5 miles, while the girlfriend could walk to work. I have to do right by my daughter and ensure that the place we move to is a place we can comfortably afford now.

But that means swinging it by the girlfriend who expects to live in a style that is equal to her position. I understand that need. I respect that need. However, I would rather be taking the money we spend on rent and applying it to a mortgage payment instead, and taking the place that offers a savings in rent would speed up the process of buying a house.

Well, battery is going to die on the laptop, so that's all for now. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system. If any of you have any thoughts on how best to keep the girlfriend happy over the course of this move, and the subsequent lease term, I am all ears. Or eyes in this case.